


Try walking in my shoes

by Red_Reaper



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Awkward Dates, Awkward First Times, M/M, Men Crying, Sad Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-03
Packaged: 2019-08-17 02:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16507697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Red_Reaper/pseuds/Red_Reaper
Summary: Sometimes you just can't hide your feelings.





	Try walking in my shoes

**Author's Note:**

> Practicing english, so please excuse me if I make any mistake.
> 
> Let me know what you guys think. It will help me to improve.
> 
> Some may think that is an Ooc attitude of William, but crying after sex it's something common and felt like writting William experimenting these feelings.

It wasn't normal and he knew it pretty well. Crying after sex was something girls usually did and obviously he wasn't a girl. He was a fully grown man. A senior reaper, a supervisor.

_He shouldn't be crying. He shouldn't... he never cried before!_

But there he was, clunching the space where his heart used to be with one of his hands and pressing the pillow against his face with the other, slowly touching his stomach with both knees.

_Why those feelings? Why all these anger and frustration?_

“Ah... you must be sleeping now, my darling..." William felt a hand encircling his waist and made a huge effort to suffocate a sob. “let me tell you how amazing you were... how amazing you felt inside me..."

William closed his eyes fiercely and wished to be deaf. He tried to stop the memories that were starting to flood his mind, but found that was practically impossible.

The sound of Grell's voice so closer to his ear and his hot breath against his neck, wasn't helping with the feelings he was trying to stop having.

“I always wanted you...  _so so bad..._ " a light kiss in the back of his neck, made him shiver a little. “Can't wait for tomorrow. Can't wait for the morning to come and have more of you.  _Forever...'_

Those words felt like a dead weight pinning him against the matress. He even didn't want to keep sharing the same room as the redhead reaper, but he found himself unable to move. He thought that maybe if he faked his sleep, Grell would eventually feel tired too and would leave him alone with his thoughts during the night.

_He felt so disgusted with himself, so dirty. So guilty..._

_Why they had sex in the first place? Were they even in that point of their relationship? Why had he been so weak?_

_Was he being weak now?_

_Feelings were so new for him._

“Rest... my..." Grell yawned in the middle and William kept praying to whatever god that were listening, to put an end to that terrible nightmare. “dear William..."

Then he felt Grell's soft snores and his warm breathing against the back of his neck, finally giving up and bursting into silent tears of fear and regret.

_He evidently lacked with experience. Why would Grell want him anyways? Lies, of course. Grell always professed his love to whatever handsome penis with legs that crossed in his way._

_Why was he any different from them?_

Alone with his thoughts that night, William T. Spears silently cried, rocking himself. Wanting to escape but not finding enough strenght to explain himself.

He could go back to being cruel again. That was the only familiar feeling he was comfortable with.

_Crying was for people like Grell Sutcliff. Not him._

_That deep hole in the place where his heart used to be, was for others and not him._

_Sex was for everyone else but not him._


End file.
